Giving the people what they want…One freak at a time.
Cinco de Mayo, 2003

Since the site started, we’ve had the unfortunate opportunity to monitor who visits, and how they get here. Most people are referred directly to the site, because most people are just our friends. But there are a few stragglers out there who stumble upon this glory hole with ulterior intentions. These are people who use search engines, seeking out various hobbies and interests. A lot of them are strange in their own right, but get directed to us because we have the word Decking in the title. Apparently there are people out there who really love photos of decks. Other people fall on us because they are searching for something totally sweet, like Trent Reznor sayings, or Swank magazine. But every so often, you get some 42-year-old man living in his grandma’s guestroom, needing to feed his appetite for deviance while grammy’s out buying bologna. They input a few choice words, and since we’re so versatile with the English language, our site pops up and the crazies flood in. And then they leave disappointed.

Now, since this site is for the people, we want everyone who drops in to enjoy their stay. It’s my job to accommodate those who happen by, so I thought I’d give them what they want, and share with everyone else how these miscreants find our site. Enjoy.

The Ralph Macchio Poster Wall
Apparently someone who absolutely loves Daniel LaRusso was searching for the ultimate obsession: An entire wall plastered with posters of the lovable manchild. Well, they found this site because I mentioned the Macch’ in one of my articles, but found no poster walls…But that’s about to end. I now present to you, the Ralph Macchio poster wall.


Ralph and his #1 fan Wayne.

The Busted Panties
Forget how creepy an entire wall of Ralph Macchio is and try to wrap your face around this search string. Someone wanted to lay their eyes on some broken underpants, but found our website instead. This was a tough request to conjure up, but I did the best I could. It doesn’t do a damn thing for me, but someone out there wants busted panties, and I want to be the enabler! I borrowed a pair from an old friend…

There they are. Busted panties. I know, it sucks. But what the hell? How do I give someone busted panties? The word busted is usually associated with bulky things with parts that snap off. It was invented so cigarette-smoking wives with stains on their shirts can say, “Dammit Ned, you busted the television set. How’m I supposed to watch my stories?” It’s not a panty-friendly word. But, I said I’d give the crazies what they want, and there it is.

Pleasing the Masses
I’m sure there will be plenty more wacked-out requests for me to fulfill, since there are so many people who don’t realize the words they type are coming to me. But before I go, I want to be sure that the freaks who seek the Decking Crew for their sinful shelter find what they need. So, to cover my bases (and bring in more crazy visitors), I now present to you… A cock snatching a fag from a pussy while Doogie Howser and Blossom look on.

If you’d like a poster wall of me, let me know at guerrs@thedeckingcrew.com

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© 2003 The Decking Crew