Giving the People What the Want…One More Time
July 31st, 2003

Now that we’ve passed 15,000 visitors on the website, I thought I’d again do something nice for those sick bastards who come here and feel left out. We continue to carry the unfortunate burden of seeing how people find the site through search engines. Most of the time they find us by searching for relevant, though completely moronic, things such as “sneezed sneeze allergies achoo,” and “Bill Gates is a douchebag.” But every so often the woodwork cracks, and out crawl the nomads looking for scraps of perverted garbage, hoping the Decking Crew can satiate their addiction. Those sick fucks.

But again, I’m not here to judge. I’m here to satisfy. It’s time to give the minority what they want, by giving them what they searched for…One freak at a time.

 

Picture of Angry Old Lady Giving the Finger with a Big Thermometer in Her Butt

We’re just gonna do this one quick like a band-aid. I think wecan all accept the first half. Old ladies are great, but who’s getting off on staring at a gigantic thermometer hanging out of their back end? Whoever they are, they’ll enjoy this! And trust me, this wasn’t even the worst one.


That's just not right.

 

Jimmy Smits what’s he doing in 2003

What a life this guy must lead. What’s Jimmy Smits doing in 2003? The only person I could think of who would search for what Jimmy Smits is doing in 2003 is Jimmy Smits. Well, Jimmy this one’s for you…


While waiting for someone to remember him from his NYPD Blue days, Jimmy Smits ended up having to get a job at McDonald’s to support his family. Unfortunately, Burger King caught wind of this transfer, and began a smear campaign both against McDonald’s, AND Jimmy Smits. It looked similar to this…


Upon finding out that Jimmy Smits and Star Wars was a horrible idea, George Lucas immediately hired him for Episode III. So, I guess he is doing something this year.

 

Covering My Bases

That’s it for now. There were tons of other searches, a few of them I can’t even mention without launching a government investigation and seizure of my computer. I would say I wonder how these people find the site, but with posts like these, I only encourage the sheltering of guys with little moustaches and original mesh-backing hats. You know, before Ashton Kutcher made them so very trendy. Oh, he looks like this.


Anyway, I need to make sure people like him feel like they belong on this site, so I’ll just cover my bases again. Enjoy this picture of Britney Spears stroking a boner while singing Cum on Feel the Noise. Jaleel White.

My sister reads this site. Guerrs

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