We Got One!
Well, it’s finally happened. Saddam Hussein has been captured, appropriately found nestled in a wonderful piece of real estate known as a hole. As news spread of Saddam’s capture, his image was all over the world; at first sporting a poorly groomed beard while a doctor shoved a depressor down his throat. Yeah! Justice was finally being served by mildly gagging him!
But later, photos emerged of a (dare I say?) handsome, shaven Saddam. The US forces cleaned him up and gave him his moustache back! “So, uh, Saddam. Should we leave the stache for ya, buddy?”
Clearly, this was the first and easiest step for the coalition to take. All they really had to was toss a Hawaiian shirt on him.
Just to toss a little more salt on the wound, they had to remind Saddam that he is definitely not the boss.
A staple and always good for a laugh when placed on the wrong person, the afro is clearly modeled after one of the soldiers' favorite movie characters.
Once the dye was broken out, they couldn't resist making Saddam over into The Real American. While it may look like he's saluting his Hulk Hogan Python Power bandana, Saddam was actually refusing to wear it for the picture. He is still granted some liberties, I see.
An obvious attempt to imitate Robert Plant goes horribly wrong, as Saddam looks more like a bewildered poodle than the Zep front man.
For months now, the troops have been living off of old reruns of 90210, and thought this was a show Saddam would probably hate. So they looked to Ian Ziering for inspiration.
Some troops remarked that this made him look less like Hitler, and more like Walter Mattheau. But one thing's for sure. That "moustache" is not made of hair.
The Obligatory Patriotic Ending
If you have secret photos of Saddam's hairstyle torture, send them to Guerrs@thedeckingcrew.com