Lionel Richie:
The Ultimate Drinking Game

By Guerrs
10-11-05


Hello, is it intoxication you're looking for?

Every so often, a drinking game comes along that revolutionizes the sport. I have been fortunate to be part of one already. I am now prepared to unveil my latest creation. This very well may change the landscape of drinking games forever. Behold! The Lionel Richie Drinking Game!

Ingredients:

1 The Lionel Richie Collection DVD - You can find this at any Best Buy across the country.
36 Beers Per Person - A rough estimate.

Recipe for Disaster:

This game taps into the most hilarious aspects of the 80’s; cheesy music videos and equally cheesy (but damn good) songs. One look at the songs on this disc will instantly transport you to 1986. Dancing on the Ceiling. Hello. Say You Say Me. All Night Long. You will be tempted to sing along with every song, even while you claim the songs are horrible. Resist the urge and stay focused. There is much drinking to be done.

How to Play:
Gather as many friends in a room as you can. Pop in the Lionel Richie Collection DVD. Open Beers. Have Many Backup Beers Readily Available. Press Play. Drink Forever. Play the game up through the Hello video. You can skip the last six videos, as they aren’t conducive to the game. And besides, the Hello video is the pinnacle of the Lionel Richie Universe, and an appropriate finish to the game.

The Rules:
While watching the videos, drink every time the following things occur:

1) Sleeve Roll
Drink anytime Lionel has his sleeves rolled up. If he changes outfits during the video, drink again for any newly rolled sleeves.

2) Finger Point
Drink anytime Lionel points at us, the audience. Now, Lionel does a LOT of pointing in these videos. Sometimes he’s pointing to the heavens, sometimes he’s gesturing for a sweet lady to enter his embrace. But only when he points at you should you take a drink. Sometimes he points lazily, with the other fingers open, not forming a fist. This counts as a point. Sometimes he’ll give you a come-hither hand gesture. This may be falsely called out as a point. Be sure to know the difference.

3) Social!
Everyone drinks at the end of a video. It’s a nice way to celebrate getting through another song.

4) Celebrity Cameo
Drink anytime there is a celebrity cameo. There aren’t many, but be on the lookout for Rodney Dangerfield, Cheech, Flock of Seagulls guy, and That One Guy That Used To Be On That One Cop Show.

5) Leanin’ Lionel
Drink anytime Lionel leans on anything. The best examples are in the Hello video, but Lionel leans the hell out of walls and doorways in other videos as well.

6) Singin’ Time
Drink anytime Lionel breaks character to sing. If he is acting in a scene (especially when on the phone) and all of a sudden starts serenading, drink away.

7) Ensuing Gayness
Drink anytime gayness ensues. This is a very subjective rule, but perhaps the most important. Definitely the most fun. Anyone can call out blatantly gay moments at anytime, but someone in your drinking group must agree with the call. Examples of extreme gayness would be: an awkward glance between Lionel and another man, Lionel embracing another man, Lionel performing dance moves with jazz hands, Lionel wearing a pink shirt, Lionel playing a character named Brock. There are literally dozens of instances of gaiety throughout these videos. Calling them out and debating the extremity of their gayness is the best part of the game.


Will You Be Drinking Soon??

Extra Credit:
These are one-time only drinks that happen throughout the videos. Use them at your own discretion, and feel free to add your own.

1) Drink when Lionel yells “Say What!” to camera during the Dancing on the Ceiling video.
2) Drink when Lionel creepily says “Come on up,” also during the Dancing on the Ceiling video
3) Drink when Johnny Law comes to bust up the scene, but is instantly overcome by the music in All Night Long
4) Drink when they start singing the made-up language during All Night Long. “Tomba leeta hey do da stuff. Hey Bumba Lie. Hey Jumbo jumbo!“ That part. Totally not a real language.
5) During the Hello video, drink when the horrible actor says “Mr. Reynolds, you’d better take a look at this.” Also, laugh at his horrible hand gesture.
6) Drink when Lionel hooks up with the college graduate at the end of Love Will Conquer All. You’ll know when you see it.

Determining The Winner:
With Lionel Richie, everyone’s a winner.

If it’s me you’re looking for, sculpt an email to Guerrs@thedeckingcrew.com

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