If You like Bullets, This Article is for You!
March 4th, 2003
Well, our society is fucked. We’ve just been handed a first class ticket directly to hell. I was driving around last week, listening to some rock and roll music, when I happened to look over at the car next to me. It was a normal car…Except for the fact that it was RIDDLED WITH BULLET HOLES! Needless to say, I was going nuts. Oh, not because I was afraid I would become the victim of a drive-by. It was because I realized these were simply decals of bullet holes. This is the world we live in. It’s trendy to pretend you were the target of a murder attempt. I can’t even begin to explain how fundamentally stupid this is. But I will anyway.
Oh my God, it’s bad enough that people ruin their cars by putting horrible bumper stickers on them, they have to subject everyone else to their lack of integrity. Anything proclaiming that the driver is proud to be a bitch, or a decal of Calvin pissing on a number, for example. (If you don’t know what the number represents, you are one of the lucky many who don’t watch nascar) Look, you’re not clever for buying a pre-fabricated slogan and placing it on your car. It doesn’t give you attitude. It just advertises that you’re a mindless consumer of awful products. Same goes for the bullet holes. Even if you spend .65 cents on a decal, you’re still advocating the decay of society. What statement are you making with bullet hole decals? You’re tough? You can survive gun battles?
I’ll tell you what it is. It’s that these decals are for pussies. If you really think it’s cool to have your car showered with bullet holes, do it the old fashion way. Head into Compton blasting Billy Ocean. And while you’re at it, do us a favor and stay in the car.
If you would like to detail me with bullet holes, shoot at Guerrs