Fuck You, Tube
By Guerrs
August 16th, 2006

The latest phenomenon on the internet is YouTube, a video warehouse with everything from movie trailers to old commercials to home movies of someone's kid gurgling and taking their first step. The slogan of YouTube is "Broadcast Yourself." But I've got a new one. "YouTube: Demolishing Nostalgia -- and your eyesight -- one shitty video at a time."

I know, my slogan's a lot longer, but it more accurately describes the goal of this website. The videos on this site are the worst quality I've ever seen with anything involving moving images. It's like watching television through a window smeared with bacon-wrapped sausage. One of the main uses of YouTube is to look for old commercials and junk from your childhood, so you can relive those days when your only friend was My Buddy.

Wow, see how effective YouTube is? I referenced something, and there's the video for it! How convenient! My job is done! Who cares that the video looks rotten? You kinda get the idea. And now your childhood is saved. So now you're able to access all your television memories from childhood, which doesn't really make it a memory anymore. Now it's right in front of you, about as out of focus as it was in your mind.

As an example, here's a drawing I made from memory of the Super Mario Brothers Show open. Directly below it is the YouTube clip I found afterwards. You tell me which one's better.

Okay, neither one's a masterpiece. But hey, at least in mine you can see a rubber band on Capt. Lou's face.

YouTube is effectively killing nostalgia by making it all easily accessible. It used to be fun to sit around with friends and reference old TV shows and commercials from the 80's, explaining their greatness to those who haven't seen them. Now those conversations are boring because you can just grab the clip on the internet. There really isn't a reason for people to hang out anymore. Just send links back and forth in the comfort of your own home.

Now, this whole thing is kind of silly since most of it revolves around pop culture and videos of dogs throwing up on each other. But a lot of people care about those things. And the fact that YouTube is basically THE place to post or pass on videos clearly proves this. I just think some memories are best left as that. And I also wish the video quality was better than an artist's rendition using oil paints.

If by artist, you think I mean Stevie Wonder, send a YouTube memory to Guerrs@thedeckingcrew.com

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