Lord of the Head Ring?

Welcome to this week’s Nerd Condo Newsletter, where we dignify and deride the weekly happenings of the uncool. A note to new tenants. Please place your garbage in the dumpster, not around it. Maintenance is sick of cleaning up those DVD copies of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy you keep throwing away.

Peter Jackson Presents Halo? It was announced this past week that Lord of All Things Peter Jackson will be producing a film version of the video game Halo. I find this an interesting move, especially considering the track record for Video Game Movies. You know the list, but let's do it anyway: Double Dragon, Super Mario Brothers, Street Fighter, Final Fantasy, Tomb Raider, Mortal Kombat, Resident Evil, Wing Commander, House of the Fuckin’ Dead. The latter is actually the worst movie ever made, though it fits a bit too comfortably among the rest of them. Granted, Tomb Raider, Mortal Kombat, and Resident Evil were successful enough to get sequels greenlit. But none of these movies are actually any good. Now there seems to be a push to legitimize video game movies. John Woo is making Spy Hunter. The Rock is headlining Doom. (and Spy Hunter, actually) And now Peter Jackson is producing Halo. I hear the Rock is interested. Video Games have definitely gotten better in terms of quality in graphics and storylines. But come on. The most popular games still have paper-thin plots, and any attempt to expand them to film creates bigger chasms than Mario can jump across, even with the B button held down. There seems to be this problem that no one can comprehend. Movies and Video Games have a very, verrrry low success rate. It doesn't translate either way. Any movie adapted into a video game turns out horribly. Back to the Future, Total Recall, Street Fighter: The Movie: The Game?!? So can Peter Jackson bust the streak of bad video game movies? Is Halo a complex work worthy of adaptation? Or is this just another attempt to cash in on the nerd’s penchant for video games and movies? You may think everything Jackson touches turns to gold, but let’s not forget...Cabin Fever received Jackson’s stamp of approval.

Also new this week, a new condo article where I comment on a director commenting on people commenting on his work. That's below.

If you'd like to pitch Excitebike: The Movie Starring the Rock, set up a meeting with Guerrs@thedeckingcrew.com

10/5/05 - Whedon Need No Education


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