Nerd Condominium
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Welcome to the Nerd Condominum. You've come to the right place if you like any of the following: Star Wars, Wrestling, Video Games, Transformers, The Rocky Soundtrack, Dead Alive, Evil Dead, Evil Alive, 1986 (The Year), or Technology (such as computers)

If you refer to Lord of the Rings as LOTR, then you are not only a nerd, but you are a geek. That surpasses our expertise, and you must leave.

Previous Newsletters

09/15/06 - Crank it Up, Fuckers!

08/16/06 - SoaP Talk

06/21/06 - Poker Chat

06/07/06 - X-Meh

05/07/06 - Addicted to Comics

03/10/06 - Grouchy Oscars

12/13/05 - Christmas Present

11/10/05 - I'm Sith of this Shit!

10/25/05 - WWE: Come On!

10/18/05 - What the Fog?

10/11/05 - Lord of the Halo?

10/5/05 - Damn You, Whedon


Wii Would Like to Play Too, Dammit!

Welcome to this week’s Nerd Condo Newsletter, where we dignify and deride the weekly happenings of the uncool. For those of you who purchased Playstation 3's in lieu of paying rent, defeating the building manager in an online game of Madden is not a binding contract for a free month in the condo. Please pay up, or find a sucker on Ebay.

As I write this, I am still without a next generation game console. No, not even an XBox 360, which Best Buy has been stacking in various cheerleading pyramids at the entrance for months. It's as if they're saying, 'look folks, you're not going to see a PS3 or Wii for months unless you're willing to camp out overnight. But hey, look at this. It's an XBox. This thing is the future, and we've got a ton of them! Please buy one. Please. That'll be one less person harrassing us about the other systems.' Unfortunately, I do not want an XBox 360. And I definitely don't want a Playstation 3, mostly because you have to be a doctor, professional athlete, or an idiot to purchase it. The thing costs 600 bucks minimum, and sports the wonderful technology of Blu-Ray DVD. Oh really? Sony touts it as an entertainment system in order to justify the cost, but they fail to mention that this means in addition to re-building your game library, you also have to re-build your movie library to get your money's worth. Look, I don't want my game systems to have more than one capability. I don't care if I can put pictures of my dog on there. I don't care if it's got removable hard drives. I just want to play games. Which is why I'm holding out for the Wii.

Nintedo has always been concerned with gaming, which is why I've stayed loyal to them. When Sony went with a disc format, Nintendo decided to stick with cartridges because, I like to pretend, cartridges just feel like they're packing fun in them. When Sony and Microsoft moved on to DVD format, Nintendo came out with tiny discs. It really seems like they should be out of business. Seriously, tiny discs? The thing that keeps Nintendo going is their brand. If you own a Gamecube, you feel privileged to play Mario, Metroid, and Zelda. Sure, you miss out on GTA, but you can only stomp a hooker so many times before you get bored. Or blasted by the cops. But Mario, Zelda, Samus Aran, those are icons. Those are games where you'll remember specific levels and battles for years to come. And now, when the competitors are stepping it up to make games more realistic, Nintendo has gone and made a completely silly gaming system. New controller scheme, cartoony graphics, marketing that suggests you and your grandma can hang out in the same room playing video games for hours. Basically, the antithesis of 'cool' gaming. But who are we kidding? Gaming is not cool. In fact, it's in direct opposition with cool. If kids spent more time in the physical world, they would learn about life, and meet girls and do crazy shit which they can tell stories about later, helping them to become cool. Instead, they play video games. And that's exactly why the Wii works. Nintendo knows they don't have to be cool. They just have to be fun. Playstation 3 is sleek, it's modern, it looks like a sports car. The Wii makes you wear a safety strap.

I'm definitely not alone here. The Wii has been sold out since it was released last month. Every shipment that comes in to Best Buy, Target, or any other store, gets sold in 20 minutes to a line of rabid fans, or Ebay hawks looking to make some cash. I should know. I've been to every electronics store in town. And I'm either there on the wrong day, or the store clerk says there was a line at 6 in the morning. Now, in my years as a gamer, I have become patient enough to know there will eventually be enough systems for everyone. And missing out for the first month will not ruin my life. Besides, I've still got a season of Madden on my Gamecube. But there does come a point where my inner child kicks in, and I just NEED to have this thing. I need to try out this crazy new technology, where I will most likely look like a loser playing these games by myself, swinging around a controller like a lasso. Luckily, we don't set out to play video games because it'll get us chicks. Unless it's a hooker, in which case you'll most likely be buying a Playstation 3.

If you have a Wii, Guerrs hates you.


Nerd Condo Articles

The Four Phases of Kevin Smith Fanboys October 11th, 2005
Political Wars: Your Intergalactic Guide to the Election Nov. 1st, 2004
Why You Almost Hated Transformers: The Movie May 25th, 2004
What's Wrong, Eomer? January 22nd, 2004
The Steel Wheel Rolls for the Empire October 13th, 2003
The Stormtrooper Diary Sept. 17th, 2003
The Orc Diary Sept. 10th, 2003
Hey, I'm Tarkin to You! July 22nd, 2003
Percy Yates Interviews Nate Dogg July 13th, 2003
Don't Break the Ice: The Drinking Game May 28th, 2003
April 18th, 2003
March 17th, 2003
Feb. 19th, 2003

© 2006 The Decking Crew